The Other Side of Rejection
Rejection was not an uncommon occurrence for me in college. I would write a new article on Seeking Alpha and submit it to the editor, only to receive a rejection letter a few hours later telling me to refine my thesis to make it more compelling. I’d approach a girl at the bar to strike up a conversation, only to strike out in a few minutes.
I used to hate getting rejected and, for a while, would find ways to avoid it. I’d find excuses as to why I wasn’t talking to girls, convincing myself that the pursuit of girls for a date was a desperate move. I’d put off submitting my articles, telling myself that they needed a few more run-throughs to catch a grammar mistake or two, even though I’d just gone through it for the 10th time.
It felt good at the moment. There was no pressure. I was in my comfort zone and it felt good to be there.
But eventually, I started feeling restless with myself. Maybe it’s something about the human brain, but being too comfortable eventually becomes uncomfortable — you get bored of the monotony that comes from a lack of challenge. Rejection sucked, but so did a static lifestyle.
During this time, I knew that I had to change. I wanted to live a life that I wouldn’t regret later on. No more “what ifs” or “if only I had done this or that.”
I found it important to view rejections in a different way. Rather than viewing it as a painful experience, it could be a form of feedback for what was not working. I just needed to see it as a means to an end, rather than just an end. I needed to take a step back and see how this experience might mold me into the person I want to become.
Another thing to consider is that rejection opens up opportunities. As the saying goes, “When one door closes, another one opens up.”
When Winston Churchill was a young man in the British army, he suffered a shoulder injury during a boating trip in Bombay. He didn’t think much of it at the time — just a minor impediment — but it would come to haunt him for the rest of his life as his shoulder would dislocate at the most inopportune time. Churchill warns readers “to beware of dislocated shoulders” and its “terrible liability” once the deed is done.
However, he goes on to explain that when looking back at his life, he considers how the injury also helped him avoid a position in the cavalry, where the use of a sword is required. Instead, he was put in a different position and used a sidearm as his primary weapon. Considering how dangerous a position in the cavalry was, Churchill ponders the possibility of a shortened life had he not dislocated his shoulder several years back.
Rejection is inevitable if you want to grow. A great investor and a potential future mentor told me that the pain of regret is unequivocally worse than the pain of progress.
Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you. You never know what road a rejection might lead you to.